Saying Goodbye

Two maravian missionaries heard that there was an Island owned by a British landowner. He took slaves from Africa to work on His Island. This man was an athiest and hated God and vowed no clergy or preacher would step foot on His Island. These two missionaries in there twenties knew that all those slaves would never have the chance to hear the gospel, so they sold themselves to the planter and with the money they recieved they bought the ticket to sail to the Island. They gave there whole future so that those slaves could hear the gospel. the two young men watched there families get smaller and smaller as the boat left the harbour ....they would never return they sold themselves to a lifetime of service.

That story really touches my heart I feel as though I have been leaving that same harbour for the past two years since I encountered Christ. Encountering the call of Christ I could give nothing but myself and I bought with myself a one way ticket to follow Him, I sold myself into His service. Everyday as this ship takes me farther from everything that is familiar to me I look at those people who I knew before following Christ and they seem to get smaller and smaller.

I look at all the things my heart wants...
to be respected
accpeted for who I am
to be cool
to be noticed
to have the right woman
the right body
the right words

Its slowly slipping from my fingers all of these things that I have tried for so many years to gain there now slipping away into the mist. Iv played with them and imagined them and thought long hours on how to get them. as a Christian... I let them go but not out of my sight like im still at the harbour. But this divorce between me and my desires is growing and its time to say goodbye.