burning bridges

Im still digging through my purpose and digging through my past
trying to find the meaning inside my past
trying to find something like a railing in the mist
something to guide me back to all the love that I missed
was it inside me all this time
this yearning at last
its wonderful in its mystery its following me all the time
how much longer can I wait in a thursday night
Im listening for the starts when im walking in the light
drove down these roads so many times before what am I looking for?
like a little kid sitting in the lost and found
in a land before time where it all began
Im laying down all I was to see up higher
trying to understand the meaning of these scribbling words
like God just creeps in under every verb
I got pushed over the fence like a shooting star
now im crawling up hills just to hold your hand

the glory

A new veiw

I'm sitting on the plane looking out the window and I glance over at my open bible. Psalm 33; "The Lord looks down from heaven,
He sees all the children of men.
From where He sits enthroned He looks out
on all the inhabitants of the earth.
He who fashioned the hearts of them all and observes their deeds."

I stare out the window at tiny squares of land, highways as thin as hair, and tiny specks of houses so small they fade into the tapestry of the landscape and fade off into the horizon. I think of how small, how tiny they are and the tiny little lives they contain and the tiny little problems in those lives. how small and insignificant they look from up here.
As tears roll down my cheeks I hear in my heart the words; "God so loved the world...."
this world? this tiny world I see out my window? more tears....
"that He gave..." I pause on that thought, He loved the world so much that He gave, but what did He give? a handout? A quick fix? a few dollars like we toss to a beggar without a second glace to ease our own guilt?
"God so loved the world He gave..." then it drops into my heart like a thud; "He gave His only begotten son". I taste the salt now from my tears and it makes me wonder if all the oceans in the world are nothing more than the tears of God crying out for this world, a world that for the most part ignores Him...and yet "He gave..."

Why did God whisper to an elderly lady :" I will never leave you"
Why did God supernaturally put fillings in my landladies teeth?
Why did God help a struggling teenage girl stay clean for a month as I heard her proudly pronounce at church?
Its these little drops, these messages that come down to us from The Lord and Hes saying
"I see you and I care"

What is glory anyway, i hear that word allot lately. Well i have a definition for it: God showing his character.

God loves, God gives

"For God so loved the world, he gave His only begotten son that whomever believes in Him may not die but have everlasting life." John 3:16

freedom

You sick and dead world look what you did to me. you promise me freedom but you gave me a cage. You painted a smile on my face and stuck a knife in my back. You promise me freedom and you promised me fun, you dead world your steeling the children and you eat them alive. You dead world how could you? When I was young and volnurable you raped my mind with vulgur language pornography and violence.You made me hate my body and hate my face until I changed my image and ran after your styles so I could finally look at myself in the mirror.you told me I would find some releif when I smoked your drugs and drank from your drinks, but you used it to drain every bit of childish joy from my heart until I couldnt feel anything but numbness without a drink or a smoke.You made me feel so worthless, you told me God didnt care, you told me He was far away or hiding in a church or that He didnt even exist.


But then I saw this man on a cross. Who was he dying for my heart asked. Could it be me that he was suffering for? That broken cowardly insecure me I spend my whole life trying to hide away deep inside of me, that broken me I never let anyone see? He looked at me from that cross and as our eyes met I knew it. This God I spent my entire life hating and ignoring was dying for me...and all this pain and insecurity, all the sin and pain this world had caused me died with Him. And then like a flood in one moment of time all my innocence I had lost came pouring back into me. Like waking up from a bad dream it was all gone I was pure again from the inside out and all my baggage was gone. Then I looked up to see this man, He was no longer on the cross but was standing right in front of me. I saw Him for the first time this God I had never known. He put His arms around me and finally I felt the love and acceptance I always longed for and I never want to leave His arms again.

Who the son sets free is free indeed. No going back to Babylon now. Children of promise turn your eyes to Zion and keep on walking, your salvation draweth near.

to the faith of our fathers

I feel the waves crashing about me
I look up and see the stillness of the stars
Is it true that the light Im seeing is from the past
that it was pushed out by violent storms and heat?

I feel you in my trouble Jacob
Iv wrestled with you before
my father we're children marked from birth by our calling
travailing everyday to be born
is it true we're not so different me and you?
Im reaching up at the stars for you
Its the generations that keep me steady
When I look to the upward calling
I look up to the stars
and I see the past
Im a posterity
a child of your light
I look up and see your faces
now shinning in the firmament
every step I take is a prayer you prayed
out of joy, pain, death, and sorrow

Its the whisper of eternity that keeps drawing us to Him

Everything I needed to learn about Jesus I learned in kindergarden

I was just thinking about the book of acts and how the disciples and apostles ate bread together in simplicity and went from house to house and gathered at the synagogue. Its a beautiful picture. If theirs one thing Iv noticed since Iv been saved, at least Iv noticed this in Canada is; this searching for the real thing. What is real Christianity? what does it really look like? Its like everyone is asking this question and running back and forth.
I think if anything we need Fathers right now. Definitely we don't need anymore preachers or teachings, its like the writer of Hebrews said " by now you should be teachers" with all our information and resources by now we should be examples to the world. If Christianity were a complex math problem or a formula I'm telling you we would have this thing figured out! but the problem is....it's not. Its not something we just need to figure out like an engine. Because its about people, God's building a temple out of people and what holds us together is love. How can you do a teaching on love? We have so much info and books, heres my question :
When does it become real?
I think a huge part of our problem in this part of the world is that we have had community and friendship and family stolen from us. We dont even know what it means anymore. To be a Friend even when they offend you to stick it out with someone even if they hurt you soo bad. Faithful are the wounds of a Friend Solomon once wrote.
I have only seen a few, maybe three, people in my life who just exuded love I mean they were the real deal you could tell they care.
coming back to the father issue, I was dreaming today of men who preached but weren't preachers. What I mean is I have seen this hunger especially in young people for someone who preaches but then gets down off the pulpit and comes into there world and doesn't just run out the back door.
I think of these fathers in the natural who have given up there lives and had it ruff so they could provide a better life for there children. I think of our fathers in the faith from Hebrews 11, how they gave up there lives to provide "something better for us"(vs 40). I think that's the difference between a father and a preacher, a preacher is doing it for himself and a father is doing it for the children. "You have many teachers in the faith, but not many fathers".
Family, community, breaking bread in simplicity.

Anyway let me know what you think or if you have anything to add I would like some feedback on this one.

whoever does the word of the Lord shall live by it.
I was questioned recently by someone about why I would paint a room in someones house for free. I asked "why wouldn't I?" they responded "you need to make a living." I simply said " I don't live by the work of my hands."
From there lost point of view this makes no sense. But the fact is I now live by faith and I dont rely on the work of my own hands to provide for myself. Like the two sons of adam: Cain and Abel, one brought the work of his hands and the other brought a sacrifice of faith.
This clearly is a picture of two kinds of people in the earth, one who trusts in himself and his abilities to provide for Himself and the other who trusts in the lord for his daily bread. Basically put: I don't receive my living from working, I receive my living from obeying the voice of God. This is not to say I don't work, I do, I work a full time job yet that is not the source of my provision. If all the jobs would be gone tomorrow I know as long as I obey the voice of my God I will always have my daily bread, this is the difference.
Oh Mr. Trump you got nothin' on a simple sparrow lol. That little sparrow has more faith than He does!! lol. So once again we have the tree of life(faith) vrs the tree of knowledge(works).

Just a few examples:
I gave away my van to a family who needed it and a short time later a pastor who didnt know my situation called me and said the Lord told Him in prayer to give His pathhfinder to me....
I have cheaper rent and cheaper insurance than I think anyone I know and Im under 25 (usually insc is quite high before 25)!
All the glory to God! how did this happen? I didnt even try to make these things happen all I did was seek the kingdom.
O yea one other thing the van I gave away was an answer to prayer the next day after my truck had broken down, again the person who gave had no knowledge of my need.

So I just wanted to share the goodness of the Lordwith you. Dont just trust Him with salvation, trust Him with everything!